I am sitting still and meditating a little. It is hard to concentrate with all the noise outside my window. I try to focus on my breathing but it is hard to breathe when you have a small pain piercing your heart.
Sometimes I miss a lot of people and a lot of things that used to make me happy. But sometimes you have to let go and keep moving forward.
When I decided to become a dancer I knew the road would be lonely. Dancers often submerge in their world and isolate themselves in straining rehearsals, studios full of competition and with no time for external contact with the rest of the world. I decided to stop studying dance when I felt that it wasn`t fun anymore. I stopped dancing because I was getting more pain than satisfaction. Dont get me wrong, I still love to dance and I always will. Personally, dancing has become like a long-lost lover that I miss but know it’s not the most important thing in my life anymore.
When I stopped being a dancer I became a singer. It wasnt something that started overnight, I always sang, but I decided to pursue it as a career because music was a big part of my life. I loved to write my songs and started to drain emotions every time I wrote one.
So I isolated from the world once again. I lost close friends, I ignored the partying, I stopped smoking and drinking and eventually stopped living in the real world and submerged in the parallel world of music.
I started working like crazy. I went home from the studio at 4:00 am. Everybody else at my age went partying and having fun. The only thing that cheered me up was going again to the studio and working. It was my world and I loved it. It also came with a price: I was surrounded by some many people but I felt so lonely.
That is when I realized it was my fault and nobody else´s responsability but mine. The road to success often is a very lonely road. You will be alone. People will start to bring you down because they simply don’t understand you. But you are happy in your way and you know that in the end it will be all worth it. I still am working towards my goal. There are good days and bad ones. But I love it and it makes me truly happy.
Dont be afraid to dream big, don’t be afraid to fail, believe and trust yourself. I guarantee you that it wont be easy. But then again if it was easy, everybody would do it. Do not be afraid to stand out, whoever you are and whatever you wish for. Be thankful that you have a flame inside you that makes you strive for something big.
Everybody is unique, there is no exact copy of who you are. Do more of what you love and less of what you don’t want. Remember that at the end of the day your happiness depends only on you.